The Best Kept Secret to Getting UnstuckGetty Images

When I tell people I’ve recently been hypnotized, and I love saying that, they immediately picture me moving around like crazy on a stage. They then usually ask if I remember anything (yes, everything) about the experience, explaining that they couldn’t possibly give up enough control to try it themselves. But actually this doesn’t look like a stage show at all, it’s more like a life coach session; The most effective, fast working and satisfying session I have ever experienced.

Warning: You must be a willing participant. Actually, when I first contacted John MongioviA New York-based board-certified hypnotist whose name is shared among celebrities and CEOs, his first question was whether I was truly motivated to change. “Hypnosis will not be effective if the person is not ready to do something different,” he explained. But if so, the app can address a wide range of concerns: smoking, overeating, stage fright, phobias, lack of motivation, mental blocks, fill in your problem here.

Although hypnosis may seem far-fetched or an old-timey stage show, the practice has been around for centuries. Inscriptions detailing variations of this date back to B.C. It has been found in Egyptian relics dating back to the 1550s. Much later, Sigmund Freud studied hypnosis and used it as a precursor to psychoanalysis. But as Mongiovi carefully emphasizes, hypnotists are not doctors or therapists, and hypnosis cannot treat mental disorders or eliminate trauma. “Instead, it is a direct way to help the customer achieve a goal and move forward,” he explained. I was up for it and so were my two colleagues. We all had different issues: performance anxiety at work (that’s me), getting over a breakup, and difficulty falling asleep. Here’s what happened next:

The Thought That Changed Us

At each appointment, before any of us reached out and felt our eyes getting heavy, Mongiovi took the time to get to know us. “Most of the work happens during this conversation, and after I enter the hypnotic trance, I repeat what we talked about; these are called hypnotic suggestions,” says Mongiovi. “Hypnosis triggers a parasympathetic response that stabilizes, balances and relaxes the nervous system, making it more receptive.” To get us into this state, Mongiovi made sure we felt comfortable and safe, and then led each of us through a series of mental exercises and visualizations (like imagining and focusing on a spot in the middle of our forehead) to relax the body and mind. on).

Each of us remembers being aware of what Mongiovi said, and if we wanted to move our bodies or open our eyes we could do so; We were too lax to want to try. Being in a trance was a familiar feeling; It’s like when you zone out and stare into space, then you feel yourself come back to the present. “You can also be in a trance state when you are in flow, completely immersed in something, or in a state of euphoria,” says Mongiovi.

But let’s go back to the initial pre-hypnosis conversation: During my own interview, I explained that I wasn’t confident enough at work. Mongiovi asked for an example and the first thing that came to my mind was that I don’t talk in meetings. Why is this so? he asked. I finally realized that I needed time to think about what I wanted to say. I didn’t want to blurt out something wrong or unhelpful.

Then he asked a great question: Can you tell me about the first time, the last time, and the worst time you spoke in a meeting? Of course I could… but then I suddenly remembered that the first time was so embarrassing. It was a moment I had buried for years, and here he was asking me to dig into it. I was in a conference room with my colleagues and our leadership team was sharing with us younger employees how they climbed the ladder. During a pause, one of the leaders looked at me and asked, “What about you? Do you have any questions? I panicked. Then I wandered off. What I was trying to ask was if they had any great stories about interesting people they met in the course of their work. But actually what came out of my mouth didn’t make any sense. I remember thinking at one point: Wait, did I just imply that I don’t work with anyone interesting? Someone answered, the meeting continued, and no one brought up the issue afterwards. Mongiovi pointed out that none of these people had any recollection of this one moment decades ago. “So that can’t be the source of my low confidence,” I suggested.

“Oh, you don’t have a trust issue,” Mongiovi said. “You have a problem with hesitancy. It may have come from this sensitizing experience, and now, at a level below conscious awareness, your brain remembers that speaking loudly in this environment makes you feel bad. So you avoid it.”

We talked about how I wanted to think and feel in future meetings: I can definitely do this. I belong in this room. I don’t need to prepare much; Just focus and I’ll know what to say. These are what he calls challenge responses, and once they become ingrained, he said, whenever I feel tension or fear, I can shrug it off. “Also, these feelings will be less frequent, less intense, and will disappear more quickly,” he added.

Mongiovi’s approach was equally goal-oriented when treating my colleagues. He noted that when Mandie went to him for help getting over a breakup, he felt frustrated and resentful. Mongiovi asked her to list the downsides of the relationship, and she thought about all the concessions and concessions she had made, such as postponing trips and events because she hoped they would all do it together, which they never did. Mongiovi gave her a challenge response to use before and during hypnosis: When her ex drifts into her brain, she should immediately shift her focus by thinking: I have work to doHE.

My colleague Adam, who had trouble falling asleep, needed a different technique. Some things helped a little, she told Mongiovi: applying an essential oil-based cream to the soles of her feet, reminding herself to keep her mouth shut, and, by old standby, counting sheep. But on nights when he needed to fall asleep quickly, he would pop a pill. Through hypnotic suggestion, Mongiovi helped Adam develop a more positive expectation of sleep and avoid the frustrations associated with it. “Every client is different, but in summary, the purpose of sleep hypnosis is to help them physically relax, get away from thoughts, feel safe and believe that their sleep problem can be solved,” he says. After the session, Mongiovi gave Adam some audio recordings to help him relax.

So Did It Work?

The guy now drifts right after pressing play on one of his sleep recordings. “While one session won’t erase all the pain of a breakup,” says Mandie, “I was able to get through it in a more positive way and feel clearer about how to reframe my thoughts so I don’t spiral.”

In my case, I didn’t have a big meeting planned until a month after hypnosis, but something fascinating began to happen at every meeting I attended, no matter how important, how many people were in attendance, no matter the topic or setting: I wasn’t just nervous. I didn’t think much of it. Suddenly I became adept at not caring about some things. No, really: When a colleague came up to me after a staff meeting, worried about a particular moment, I literally shrugged and assured her, as Mongiovi had done for me, that no one was dwelling on it. And when that big meeting took place, I didn’t turn into a commanding presence, but I shared my ideas without hesitation, not even the slightest irritation.

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