DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am a woman who married another woman and some of my relatives are against homosexual relations. Is there a convenient way to notify them of the wedding without inviting them?

My brother’s family, my aunt, and my uncle all have open concerns about same-sex relationships. I think they will also be angry about not being invited. I’d like to find the most elegant way to handle this.

FEW READERS: The most polite thing would be to invite them, because it shows trust that they are fundamentally honest and care about you as a member of their family first and put other ideas second.

But Ms. Manners says past behavior has convinced you that such trust would be misplaced and unpleasant no matter what you did. Then it’s better to remove them from the guest list and leave it that way. They will learn about weddings and can grind their teeth without any intervention from you.

(Please submit your questions to Miss Manners’ website. www.missmanners.com; to his email, [email protected]; or by mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syngation, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)