Megan Thee Stallion performs in New York in September 2024. Credit – Bryan Bedder–Getty Images for Athlos

IIn the songs and music videos, Megan The Stallion is bossy, bold, reckless, and self-possessed to the point of arrogance. But this larger-than-life persona masks a deep well of trauma: The rapper, whose real name is Megan Pete, has been struggling with grief, post-traumatic stress disorder, depression and suicidal thoughts for the past few years.

This worrying duality is the driving force behind Nneka onuorah’s new documentary. Megan: In Her Own WordsIt will premiere on Prime Video on October 31. Starting in 2022, onuorah’s camera follows Pete as he performs on some of the world’s biggest stages and racks up billions of streams, while also grieving the death of his mother and grappling with the aftermath of his shooting by rapper Tory Lanez.

In an interview, onuorah said that one of his main goals in making the film was to reveal the anxious humanity behind Pete’s superhero-like face. “This film is an open book to Megan’s heart during one of the most difficult times of her life,” he says. “It highlights how grief and depression can wreak havoc on your life and experiences. “There’s so much pain in the world right now, which is why I think this story is so relatable.”

Like many people, onuorah began paying full attention to Megan Thee Stallion in the early days of the pandemic, when her song “Savage” took social media by storm in 2020. In this song, Pete celebrates himself and the many facets of his personality—“classic, cheerful, ratchet”—with wit and panache. of the song remixFeaturing a verse from Beyoncé, one of Pete’s idols, the song quickly rocketed to the top of the Billboard charts. “WAP,” a wildly irreverent collaboration with Cardi B, took the top spot a few months later.

But when Pete makes an offer source of much needed joy During the pandemic, few people realized how deeply they themselves were suffering. Her mother, Holly Thomas, who was her most important role model, confidant and source of motivation, died of a brain tumor last year. Pete later told onuorah that he turned to drugs, partying and trying to distract himself: “I keep getting drunk thinking I’ll get through this pain.”

To make matters worse, Pete was shot in the foot by rapper Tory Lanez in July 2020 after a heated argument. The two had become friends and were also romantically involved; Pete told onuorah that alcohol played a central role in their encounter. Tempers flared that night and Lanez shot him five times. lanez recorded an apologetic phone call He went to Pete’s friend from jail that night but later denied shooting him. In the following months, the dispute spilled onto social media and then into court; Lanez was charged with three felonies, including discharging a firearm by gross negligence, and many people took Pete’s side, accusing him of lying about what happened.

It was in this fragile state that onuorah began filming Pete for a documentary in early 2022. (Onuorah previously directed Underground LegendAbout the Nigerian LGBTQ community and Lizzo Beware of Big GrrrlsIt’s on Prime Video.) He knew from the beginning that grief would be the central theme of the documentary: “I could tell he felt a little broken in spirit,” he says. “That’s why I wanted to be there for him to create a safe space during this process.”

Over the last few years, many high-profile music documentaries have been released, often created with the involvement of the artist’s record label (these include: Billie Eilish and Blackpink). (Roc Nation’s executives, manages Pete(He served as an executive producer on the documentary along with TIME Studios.) However, onuorah wanted his film to harken back to an earlier era of music documentaries, such as 1991’s. Madonna: Truth or Dare: Creating a portrait that is “raw, honest and not contrived or sensational,” he says.

Onurorah followed Pete around the world, to Tokyo, Switzerland, Paris, and they returned to Houston to visit Pete’s mother’s grave. While Pete hired film crews at many of these locations, he also filmed Pete one-on-one himself to increase the trust and rapport between the filmmaker and the subject. During these sessions, Pete told onuorah how he used Megan Thee Stallion as a “mask” to hide from his demons; how he had paralyzing nightmares and felt alone all the time. At one point, at the height of his depression, Pete called 911 because he was having trouble breathing. “I didn’t feel like my life had value,” he says.

Megan: In Her Own Words avoids the chatty interviews that populate many other documentaries. (Missing voices include Pardison Fontaine, Pete’s romantic partner at the time of filming, and close musical collaborators like Cardi B and Glorilla.) “I don’t think that’s a way to really understand and know a person, because it’s from other people’s perspectives,” says onuorah. “I really want to observe and use real approach.”

The film doesn’t offer much new information about the night of Pete’s shooting, such as the exact dispute between him and Lanez or the role played in the shooting by Kelsey Harris, Pete’s friend and assistant who was with them. (Harris argued for a fifth on the stand; Lanez was convicted of three felonies in August and sentenced to 10 years in prison.) But the film shows the raw emotion and relief Pete feels when he learns of Lanez’s conviction.

This year Pete scored the #1 single “HISS” and the #3 album. MEGAN; he sold out He hosted the Madison Square Garden and MTV VMAs. In October, he released another album called. Act II. One report Open The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy FallonPete talked about the process of shooting the documentary and the challenges of being surrounded by film crews. “Most of the footage is cell phone footage as I refuse to film in front of cameras,” he said.

Onurorah says her respect for Pete grew as she watched him endure great hardships in the spotlight. “Most of us say we’re strong, but we’ve never had millions of people lying to us every day, saying negative things about us,” he says. “I commend Megan for her resilience in coming out on top throughout this process. “He truly is the definition of strength to me.”

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