• My 18-year-old daughter suddenly decided to move out and live with her father.
• I became an empty nester and struggled with loneliness.
• I then took the opportunity to give up my home and travel full time.

Mine youngest daughter He was approaching his senior year in high school when he announced that he wanted to live with his father. I was shocked.

I was a single mother with primary custody for over a decade. Although typical mother-daughter tension, we had a good relationship. Last year, I was looking forward to spending a day together before he left for college, but he had different plans.

At first I resisted and tried to persuade her not to move in with her father. Then I thought about the special attachment a girl has to her father and realized that she had her own reasons for wanting to be with him this time. At almost 18, he was old enough to make decisions on his own. I also knew it was the greatest gift I could give. my daughter It was the freedom to make your own choices and be your own person.

But it wasn’t easy. I miss my child. Parenting him and his older sister had been my focus for 20 years, and I felt unprepared to give up a role I loved. If not me, who was I? full time mother? I felt like I was fired from the most important job I’ve ever done.

But I used this transition as an opportunity to find myself.

My empty nest made me feel lonely

to be single mother This change was made worse by not having a life partner to distract me and smooth the transition. My empty nest felt lonelier and I felt rudderless; For the first time in twenty years, I was struggling to adapt to life independently.

I spent a lot of time reading, walking, and sitting together. my feelings. I kept thinking: Is this it? Is this the only thing in life?

When I thought more about my needs and wants for the first time in years, I realized I was faced with a similar opportunity with my daughter. I, too, had the chance to individuate and understand who I am apart from being a mother – and being single It would make it even easier.

A passage from Evelyn S. Bassoff’s book “Mothers and Daughters: Loving and Letting Go” really struck me.

“As her child turns to others and moves away from her, each woman faces an emptiness that forces an internal restructuring,” Bassoff wrote. “What awaits women is the chance to channel their creative energy in new ways.”

After a few weeks, I accepted that my daughter would change her mind and not return home, and I began to warm up to the idea of ​​being on my own again. For the first time since then being a motherI could live life on my own terms and do whatever I wanted.

I left my empty nest forever

After 20 years in Seattle, I was ready for a change. For a long time, I was able to work remotely as a journalist and communications consultant, so after much introspection, I decided to give up my apartment, put my belongings in storage, and travel full time. house sitter and freelance writer.

In the year since, I have traveled more than 6,000 miles on the West Coast, from the vineyards of San Luis Obispo, California, to the rocky shores of San Juan Island, Washington, and the 23 towns in between.

I saved thousands in rent while staying here luxury homes things I could never afford; all in exchange for looking after plants, pets and gardens.

I also met wonderful people like writers, weavers, painters, musicians and artists. retired and aging Whether it’s cruising the Caribbean, cycling the Olympic mountains, or chasing the path of wholeness, it’s adventurous.

I rediscovered myself along the way

It was great for me to be free from the pressure of paying almost $2,500 a month in rent. sanity – gives me time to write, follow my intuition, and spend time in nature while traveling from one beautiful place to another.

This has also had a positive impact on my relationship with my daughters, who are eagerly waiting to hear where mom will show up next.

Although I initially felt devastated by my daughter’s decision, I eventually realized that she had given me a gift I couldn’t give myself: permission to embark on my own journey of self-discovery.