I knew it in my head and in my heart Donald Trump and would beat the MAGA Vice President Kamala Harris and Democrats. For the last few years I have tried desperately to alert the public to this growing reality. I am not a “doomsayer” or “alarmist.” I am a realist committed to democracy and the hard work needed to preserve it. Black Americans, as a people, deeply understand and carry this history and lived experience, the knowledge and burden of democracy, incidental and endangered in our collective bodies, souls, and memories. For us, America has only been a democracy for sixty years. As I often remind myself, there are white people currently alive who personally watched (and participated in) the lynching of Black people during the Jim and Jane Crow regime of terror. Unfortunately, few Americans listened.

Worse, as seen last Tuesday, there are tens of millions of Americans who want what Trump and his fascist MAGA movement have to offer. A week later, words do not yet exist to accurately describe such a national and global tragedy.

I wasn’t going to watch the election results on Tuesday. My plan was to go somewhere away from television or any screens. I planned to read about the election that night or the next day. I gave up. For reasons of “history” and professional responsibility, I decided to turn on the television to confirm my concerns in real time. I knew that this version of the United States would not elect a highly qualified Black woman, even if the alternative was a white man as a dictator candidate. And there it was, inevitability becoming a downpour. Hosts and guests on cable news networks — two in particular — seemed fed up with 2016 repeating itself and tried to convince themselves and viewers that matters couldn’t be this dire and that Harris would somehow find a way to win.

At 9 p.m., I turned off the cable news programs and decided that it was unnecessary for the American people to watch their own disaster in real time. I put on my old Army trench coat and boots and, as I have done on many days and especially in these monumental moments, I made the pilgrimage to Trump Tower in downtown Chicago. I would sit there thinking and talking to myself and trying to find some peace while looking at that scary building. I asked a few psychologist friends about my ritual. Is it healthy? They told me that my trips to Trump Tower were a reasonable and positive response to extreme danger and stress because, unlike others, I had transformed Trump and Trumpism into something tangible so that I could manage my emotions and do my job properly. They both added that if I didn’t do something like go for these long walks, they would be very concerned about my state of mind because it could indicate that I, like many of their patients, was in a deep state of denial and/or that I wasn’t doing it. Finding a constructive way to work on my emotions.

So I walked all over downtown Chicago at night in the rain. At first there were only a few people outside and I felt like I was in a bad film noir; As his country succumbed to fascism, a black man wearing an old trench coat in the rain was walking to one of the headquarters of the elected officials. dictator. I walked towards the emergency room of one of the major hospitals downtown. Sometimes I go to the emergency room late at night to gain some perspective on life. Many people in this country are going through difficult times.

The rain had stopped. There were more people outside. Some were drunk. Others were dressed as if they were going to a fancy party or formal event. They seemed indifferent to the world historical events that took place that night and day.

I crossed over the bridge to Trump Tower. In the middle of the bridge was an attractive young woman wearing an elegant dress. Of course he was trying to take a photo of himself. A middle-aged man asked him if he needed help. He said yes. He was German or Austrian. “Would you like Trump Tower to be in the background on this historic night?” There was no tone of fear, emotion, or regret in his emphasis on “historical.” He was almost cheerful or somehow found the situation funny. I watched both with disgust.

There were dozens of police and other security guards on the street right next to Trump Tower. One of the police officers was of Spanish origin. She pulled out her phone, smiled, and took a photo of herself making a big “thumbs up” sign with a huge “Trump” sign in the background. “You did this to all of us…” I muttered. Such people are common throughout history; There are always informers in prison; On chattel slavery plantations (more accurately described as slave labor camps) in the American South and elsewhere, the chauffeur (who served under the White overseer) was usually a Black man.

A black man walked by and dutifully played the role of sycophant. He was demonstrating on behalf of police and security outside Trump Tower, loudly declaring: “Trump is about to be president again, he’s the boss and we better respect him!” Trump returned to the seat. We’d better respect him. This is Donald Trump’s building! Thank God he’s back!” I said to myself, we are in hell. I once again begged the entity running this hellish simulation to please stop. We “Americans” have suffered enough. The (mostly) white police and security guards laughed and generally showed their approval.

I stood there outside Trump Tower and watched more people pass by. Most, as before, didn’t seem to care about what was going on with the election that night, or perhaps they just wanted to take a break or escape from it all.

I heard more laughter and cheering. A large group of white Trumpists were exiting the building, leaving what looked like an Election Night Vigil Party. Obligatory Black and South Asian Trumpists were dispersed into different groups or standing alone outside. It was as if they were trying to get the attention (and approval) of White Trumpists because they were the “good ones” who were “special,” “exceptional,” and yet “articulate.” Almost all the Trumpists I saw were pleasantly drunk or appeared almost there. They were wearing their MAGA hats. Some wore Trump uniforms of tan khakis and a white shirt. He was wearing the signature red tie of other Trumpists. They were a reminder, on this Election Day and night, and more generally, that one group’s dystopia is another group’s utopia. These Trumpers, like a much larger mass throughout the United States, exuded authority and threat. They had won.

I was tired and spent. But I had one more place to go to confirm a nagging instinct. I walked a few more blocks north to the casino. It’s a temporary casino and its energy is very sad and desperate. I’m not sure if this energy comes from the building itself, the people it attracts, or a combination of the two.

Inside was a group of MAGA young men wearing red hats. They were playing cheap hands of Blackjack (fifteen dollars) and poker. Most of the people in the casino that night were working class (or working poor) Black and brown people. There is always a very large group of older Asians from Chinatown at the casino as well. There was also a smaller group of white men who were more serious gamblers, quiet and not very social, playing at one of the higher dollar tables. I explored this radical democratic field of people, all united in gambling, in their own world, and the desperate attention (and/or trouble) MAGA folk therein. A few people glanced at them askance, their eyes and facial expressions indicating curiosity mixed with anger or disgust, but they quickly went back to playing cards or craps.

The enduring problem and truth that many Americans, especially in the news media and political class, continue to ignore is this: Trump, Trumpism, and American fascism are symptoms and not the cause of much deeper problems. If Harris or another Democrat, or even a responsible Republican and a true “little c” conservative, becomes president, these malevolent forces will not magically disappear. The Age of Trump and his rise to the White House reflect a profound nihilism and despair. When people are made to feel that nothing really matters anymore, and when the “system”, the “elite”, and their society are made corrupt and illegitimate, they will engage in destructive behavior individually and collectively. The election of Donald Trump and his MAGA movement (he won both the popular vote and the Electoral College) is a distillation of this collective malaise and nihilism.

An in-depth new must-read article in Time MagazineEric Cortellessa describes the magnitude of Trump’s victory on Tuesday:

The scale of his success was staggering. Trump carried North Carolina, flipped Georgia returned to her column and shattered the Blue Wall. His campaign exceeded its goal of raising men and retaining women. Exit polls show Trump winning large numbers of Latino men in key battleground states and increasing his numbers among that group in Pennsylvania From 27% to 42%. Nationally, Trump’s support among Latino men increased from 36 percent to 54 percent. Trump also increased the share of voters without a college degree, gained ground among Black voters in Pennsylvania and Wisconsin, and remained stable among white women nationwide;dobbs riot. Trump increased his support among first-time voters to 54 percent, up from 32 percent four years ago.

Here’s an important qualifier: There were fewer votes in 2024 than in 2020. The failure of so many Republicans and Democrats to vote in one of the most consequential presidential elections in the nation’s history is an exclamation point for a society in crisis. Authoritarians, fascists, autocrats, and demagogues actively encourage such discomfort, resignation, and related emotions and behaviors.

Donald Trump’s victory over Kamala Harris and the Democrats likely won’t be the last for the MAGA movement, American (and global) fascists, and other enemies of democracy. America’s political culture and society may be irreversibly corrupted, at least in the near and medium term. “Come January 20, we will all be living in Trump’s America,” Cortellessa warns us. The American people did this to themselves. Trump and his agents are experts in political sadism, trauma and cruelty. On Election Day 2024, the American people will say “Yes!” Please! Give us more!” They will soon regret giving this permission and invitation, but then it will be too late.