There is a popular saying, often attributed to Goethe: “There are two permanent things we give to our children. One is the roots, the other is the wings.” Stories from our families give us roots; stories from our mentors give us wings, as Esther Choy notes in her article on mentoring. Forbesmentors “use storytelling to lead” originalitycompassion and curiosity; It helps those around them become leaders in their own right.”

Yesterday I was listening to the story of an outstanding doctoral student. As a graduate of Emory University’s Department of Psychology, I was reminded of the power of this statement. Brandi Kenner, founder and CEO Lives Network Full of Choicesan organization dedicated to building bridges between research, practice, and innovative technologies to help children and families thrive, sat down before an enthusiastic audience of current graduate students to tell her story—not just the polished professional story of how she developed, but also the story of the courageous challenge and of struggle, of success and accomplishment, of battles lost and battles won, and ultimately of pride and self-actualization.

Although Brandi was asked to tell the story of her professional life, she started with the story of her career. childhoodand their parents’ stories, their roots. Born to a man who was the first Black dentist in Oklahoma, Brandi’s father was the first Black ophthalmologist in both Oklahoma City and Guthrie, a smaller city in the state. Born to a woman who was a history-making educator and activist, her mother was a developmental psychologist, social entrepreneur, and fierce community activist. His parents were great philanthropists; They worked hard to achieve their own family success, while giving back to the society that supported them. Brandi related her parents’ stories to her grandparents and the lessons and values ​​passed down through the generations, empathy, compassion, durabilityResponsibility of the individual towards his family and society, educationand hard honest work. For many of us, such intergenerational narratives give us roots, a sense of grounding, a place to grow.

Brandi’s family has always been a source of strength and love in her life. But his story doesn’t end there. Brandi’s determination in her professional life led her to earn multiple master’s degrees, establish a charter school that bridges developmental science and educational practices to create innovative curriculum and build teacher capacity, and found Choice Full, working with numerous national organizations and foundations. The network is alive. As Brandi recounted this chapter of her life, she told stories of mentors, teachers, and employers who gave them encouragement, support, opportunities, and sustained effort. optimism About Brandi’s chosen paths; They gave him wings. And these wings are passed on through stories.

Young adults who are more knowledgeable about their family stories tell more detailed stories about their mothers’ and fathers’ wants and desires, as work at the Family Narratives Lab at Emory University shows dreamsWhat you do is of great benefit in moments of pride as well as in moments of regret. These stories provide models of how to be human in the world, of values, of things worth fighting for, and of things to value. These are our roots.

The mentorship stories that give us wings are equally powerful. Joshua Cruz and his colleagues have shown that teachers who share stories with their students make stronger connections and get more done. empathetic relationships lead to higher student performance. When we connect through stories, we create a more personal connection that allows us to identify with our mentor in a more meaningful way. To facilitate storytelling as a teaching tool in the classroom, the Association for the Teaching of Psychology commissioned a book edited by Karen Brakke and JA Houska to explore the countless ways in which stories are important in the classroom, from helping students tell their own stories. connecting family stories to professional stories goalsfor teachers to share their personal stories to help students understand possible paths forward. It is important to know the steps from point A to point B; Understanding how a person follows these steps, the missteps, corrections, and recalibrations along the way, helps make that path more realistic.

Stories continue to be an important part of mentoring in the workplace. In an article exploring next-generation development leadershipChoy points out that storytelling is a critical mentoring tool. Mentors interviewed discussed not feeling comfortable sharing their personal stories early in their careers, which perhaps made them seem too vulnerable. But as these mentors progressed in their own careers, they began to realize how important their personal stories were to the next generation. Sharing personal stories helped mentors connect with and better understand their mentees and helped mentees develop clearer plans for themselves. career progress. Again quoting Choy, “What legacy are you building? What stories do you still need to tell?”

We all have a story to tell; A story that may well help someone else, a child, a student, a friend. Telling our personal stories creates connections, but also helps the listener understand the world and its complexities in more concrete ways. We all need to tell these stories and we all need to hear these stories. We all need roots and wings.