DEAR ABBY: I’m in an online group with neighbors, but I haven’t been able to go out and meet some of the new members in person. A person signs their post in a language I don’t recognize and I was wondering if there was a polite way to ask them how their name is pronounced and what language it is in. There doesn’t seem to be a way to broach the subject without sounding negative.

Also, when I hear people at my local store speaking another language, I wonder because I speak three languages ​​semi-fluently and am interested in learning more, but again, what’s the polite way to ask? — EXCELLENCE IN VIRGINIA

DEAR STRUGGLE: If you have the slightest concern about asking your neighbors how their name is pronounced and what language it is in, don’t do it online. Ask another neighbor or wait until you meet that person in person.

When you’re out and about and hear a language you don’t recognize, smile at people, tell them you speak three languages, speak like they do, and ask what it is because you might want to learn. If the question is asked in a friendly way, most people will answer the same way. (I did this recently at a supermarket. The answer was that they were from Indonesia and spoke Malay.)

Dear Abby was written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact dear Abby at: www.DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.