If:

• I’ve stepped into so many places Lego parts where, over the years, you have become immune to pain and have developed thick, leather-like skin on your heels, perhaps as a form of protection;
• Sweep piles of piles aside regularly board booksElsa dolls in various states of undress, a broken Slinky, a discarded birthday party swag bag, and a collection of sticks that are just too beloved to sit on and should stay in;
• Dine with a view of an overstuffed Ikea storage rack filled with Hot Wheels and train tracks where drawers won’t close;
• “The couch is NOT a jungle gym” they said, ah, Good“Just don’t come crying to me when you break your beans,” he said, then calmed the little human down. They actually come to you crying when they’ve spilled their beans…

Then you can be one modern parent …and, you know, a bit of a mess. But beware, there’s a trending term that will make you feel better about the state of your home. You can only be one living room family.

What in the hell of “racetracks circling my dining room table” you ask?

Accordingly social media and parenting news According to articles, “living room families” tend to gather in a common area of ​​the house, such as the living room or study.

“Bedroom families”, on the other hand, are where parents escape the noise of their children in their own forbidden rooms, or where children are expected to play out of sight.

Millennial and Gen X parents are increasingly online publishing They describe how they broke the generational mold between their upbringing in a bedroom household and how they raise their own children.

The Instagram influencer writes that “families who spend most of their time together in the shared living spaces of their homes do so because everyone feels safe, peaceful, comfortable and accepted.” MindfulMagda.

“I’m breaking a generational curse I didn’t realize was there,” he writes TikTok user “Sunny” in a video It has more than 1.4 million views.

“I’m Gen person who commented on another video It was released on October 26.

“Realizing I have kids in the living room is the greatest compliment I can receive as a parent desperately trying to break the cycle,” the blogger mom writes Filipa Jackson in a TikTok video With over 386,500 likes.

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Modern families, modern problems

The terms “living room” and “bedroom” families may be new, but the concepts actually mean something between modern and traditional, says Vancouver-based parenting coach and consultant Julie Romanowski.

A. traditional family or the parenting style is more structured and rule-based with defined roles – think, parents work (or maybe one stays at home), kids go to school, everyone has dinner at the table and then goes to their rooms to do homework, watch TV, or maybe we can play outside . Not alone, but more separate.

In modern families, both parents may work long hours, work shifts or take their children to ballet, soccer, French lessons and play dates, Romanowski said. They can eat dinner in the car, or the kids can eat on the couch while parents try to complete a work project, unload the dishwasher, or just take a breather before someone throws a puzzle onto the floor, declaring the floor to be lava. or removes Marble Run pieces.

“Life is so busy that families have adapted to living with busy people,” Romanowski said.

But experts say making all your current investments time and giving energy to your children is a must better for any. And not everyone agrees with the idea that “bedroom families” make children feel unsafe or unsafe.

Even some parents this is called disabledHe notes that some neurodiverse children need their own private space to relieve stress.

Author Harriet Shearsmith said, “This is not unhealthy. It would be unhealthy to disrespect my son’s autonomy and force him to overwhelm himself and spend time with other people.” In a TikTok video published on October 16, it was said:.

“We certainly don’t need to launch an all-expenses-paid guilt trip for parents who realize that not every minute of the day is spent in the living room with their kids,” says contributor Samantha Darby. she wrote in Romper last February.

One person commented: “I’m a bedroom hanger. I grew up reading and as an adult reading is still my favorite.” Reddit.

Parenting has become more intense

The recognition that having children is increasingly costly, time-consuming and stressful is reflected in recent behavior. public health consultancy Published by the US surgeon general. In August, Dr. Vivek Murthy warned about the impact of the epidemic. modern stresses Today’s parents face unique challenges such as the rising cost of living, social media and the youth mental health crisis, Dr.

Moreover, some experts claim that: parenting has become more intense. Data shows parents are spending today spending more time with their children Compared to previous generations (even when more women are working full-time) and the dominant modern parenting style focuses on accepting the child’s emotions. many parents are feeling burnout.

So while the concept of sharing, connecting and interacting more with our kids has become more common, it puts more pressure on already stressed parents, Romanowski said. Parental guilt is one of the complaints he hears most from the parents he works with.

Part of the intensity of parenting comes from parents comparing themselves to unrealistic standards. He said parents should think about the quality, not the quantity, of time they spend with their children.

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“I’ve seen families who are always with their kids, but aren’t there emotionally. I’ve also seen families who barely see each other, like ships passing in the night, but when they connect, it’s amazing,” Romanowski said.

“There is no set way you should be.”

But at the same time, if the idea of ​​“living room family” eases your stress over the fact that your kitchen table has been the foundation of a castle since 2021, you’re not alone.

“Confusion is temporary. It can be cleared up,” he writes TikTok user over a video It shows two children playing in rooms overflowing with toys. “The important thing is that they feel safe, protected and secure.”