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    • Dear Abby: Should my troubled stepdaughter’s financial needs be our problem?
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    Dear Abby: Should my troubled stepdaughter’s financial needs be our problem?

    Harry Posted on

    DEAR ABBY: I am in my early 30s; My wife is 46 years old. We have been married for three years. He has a daughter named “Kiki” who is 24 years old. Kiki has always been pampered and treated; He learned to lie and manipulate in his childhood.
    I tried to help him because I believed him when he said his parents were trying to make amends. Kiki has a DUI and was evicted when her parents asked her to pay the rent herself instead of paying them. They give him his cars, but he scraps them and leaves them on the side of the road.
    We have a 3 week old baby and a mortgage. I don’t think his daughter should still be in our budget, but my husband can’t say no to giving her money. Kiki is a habitual liar and user. He can’t pay for gas because he buys weed and alcohol instead, sure everyone else will pay once their utilities are shut down.
    I don’t think it’s fair that we pay for him. Is 24 years old young enough to need this much help? My husband is very defensive about this. — USED IN NORTH CAROLINA

    DEAR USED: Considering the history of this troubled young woman, your husband has made a huge mistake by encouraging her dependence on him. Independence is something he may need to learn gradually. Your husband should sit down with Kiki and explain that he loves her, but that he now needs to find a job to support himself and that he will help her get used to being responsible for himself for a certain period of time.
    If he’s still paying his rent, there must be a definite break point. No more cars because they pose a danger on the road. He can use public transportation. And if more problems arise due to substance abuse, all bets will be off. It’s time to draw the line.

    Dear Abby was written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact dear Abby at: www.DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

    Harry
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