‘I AM NOT THE NEW FERGIE’ he shouts on a back page. You’d think British tabloids would recognize a joke when they see it.

Interesting example of women’s photographs
Daily Telegraph‘s Mike McGrath wrote 967 words about the working relationship between Manchester United’s new boss Ruben Amorim and Manchester City’s new director of football Hugo Viana.

74 of those 967 words relate to the fact that their spouses run an interior design business together.

Not the first 74 words, not the last 74 words, but somewhere in the middle of these 967 words, there are 74 words.

Of course, the article is titled ‘Ruben Amorim, Hugo Viana, their wives and the interesting story of the Manchester rivalry’ and is illustrated with a picture of two beautiful women.

This must have made Mike McGrath feel very special. Thanks for all you said, Mike, but look at these women: PHWWWOOOOOOAAAAAR.

This joke isn’t funny anymore
we have Sky Sports man tells Gary Cotterill’s nonsense about bullying a Portuguese manager into speaking English elsewhere in Portugal; we knew that for sure Ruben Amorim jokes about being seen as the ‘new Sir Alex Ferguson’ It would dominate the back pages despite Cotterill’s tantrum about somehow disappointing Manchester United fans by speaking about the Portuguese team in Portuguese.

Jeremy Cross earned his corn by writing three back pages for his Reach empire, but every opening paragraph was exactly the same: ‘Ruben Amorim fears Manchester United fans could label him the next Sir Alex Ferguson if he beats Pep Guardiola in the Champions League tonight. .’

‘Fears’? The man was laughing so hard. It was a joke. And Little Englanders can’t blame the mistranslation because a laugh sounds exactly the same in Portuguese. There’s an equally disdainful snort, which must at least mean that Cotterill has no doubt where he stands.

Daily Express They went one step further and shouted on their back pages: ‘I AM NOT THE NEW FERGIE.’

Wow. Even the dour Daily Mail realized it was a joke.

MORE INFORMATION ABOUT MAN UTD FROM F365
Man Utd should ‘get rid of’ four players who don’t press as Mikel Arteta advocates
Ruben Amorim tops Sporting for Man Utd and shameful Gary Cotterill deserves ‘cool head’
Man United sack Ten Hag and instantly drop first points from winning position all season

I was just kidding dear
You know who else can spot a joke? MirrorSports Brand Writer Samuel Meade.

Ruben Amorim, in all his sports brand wisdom, said he ‘joked that Sporting Lisbon’s result against Manchester City would either raise expectations or dampen the excitement ahead of his arrival at Manchester United’ and also that ‘Manchester City are a ‘difficult club to develop’ He realized that he was “joking about being a girl” when referring to his relationship with Hugo Viana.

This is too much of a joke; He should have put Jeremy Cross aside.

But still, here are two headlines from two articles that begin by detailing Amorim’s ‘jokes’:

‘Ruben Amorim explains what will change for him at Man Utd after the Manchester City match’

‘Ruben Amorim cannot hide his true feelings when comparing Manchester United and Manchester City’

Do words mean nothing anymore? We were surprised that he ‘didn’t break his silence’ because he ‘showed his true colours’.

If I had a hammer…
Away from Manchester United, talkSPORT There is a privilege:

‘It has been suggested that Frank Lampard could be in a surprise position in the Premier League due to the Chelsea legend’s ties with Roma.’

Buying a special product from yourself is quite a coup. talkSPORT Breakfast host tipster Jeff Stelling has no idea of ​​the situation but claims West Ham would be “ideal” for Lampard, who has been out of a job since winning one of 11 games as Chelsea’s caretaker manager.

It’s clear Lampard wouldn’t be ‘ideal’ for West Ham, which seems like a more pertinent question to ask, but our problem isn’t with Stelling talking nonsense (that’s his job) but with his employers saying Lampard is ‘up for shock’ declaring nonsense. When you say ‘Premier League business’ it’s literally the opinion of an uninformed man.

We clicked anyway, so the job was done. So who are the real assholes here?

Edu du du
Now you will know this Edu leaves Arsenal for high-flying Nottingham Forest. Arsenal are likely to be quite nervous, but To express They’re here to allay their fears because ‘judging by his recent movement in the transfer market, this could be a blessing in disguise’.

Yes. Breathe a sigh of relief, Arsenal fans, considering Edu is off because signing Raheem Sterling on loan was no mean feat.

And the relative lack of success certainly justifies this headline:

Edu’s latest Arsenal transfer call angers Gunners after brutal six-word decision

Did he ‘bite’ them? A relatively low-risk loan deal that certainly didn’t work out very well. It’s not very sexy, but it’s real.

As for the ‘cruel six-word decision’… we literally have no idea. There is no ‘six-word cruel verdict’ in the entire article.

So we had to write our own: What nonsense.

Gammon headline of the day
‘Roy Keane makes his feelings clear about wearing poppies after Joey Barton calls him out’ – Great Britain News.

So how did she ‘make her feelings about wearing the poppy clear’?

To put it this way, Mediawatch made its feelings about wearing lanyards clear today.