Source: Carl Pickhardt

A lot wise The high school counselor I knew years ago believed his role was to help young people realize what he called “the gifts of adversity.” He’s done just that with countless troubled students (and adults). They were coming to see him feeling overburdened, and they were leaving feeling empowered.

How did he achieve this psychological transformation, and can parents learn to do the same? This article offers an answer to these questions.

A Counselor’s Technique

His helping “technique,” ​​so to speak, appeared to be a two-step process.

• First, he listened deeply and got emotional. empathetic so the youth welcomed this tender companionship and felt, “You are with me.” For example, the youthful sadness experienced because of not being able to achieve what was tried for, youth while grieving and mourning the loss.
• Second, he looked for growth opportunities created by challenges, so the young person valued his perspective: “You can see the possibilities.” For example, he showed the young person how loss can create two types of opportunities: freedom from something and freedom to explore something else.

I believe parents can offer both helping capacities when their teenagers are beset by difficulties. The challenge can be isolating; Most of the time, people feel like they have to do this job alone. Suffering can be short-sighted, and preoccupation with one’s pain can make it difficult to imagine positive possibilities. Parents can honor feeling and help young people see ways to move forward.

Distress Gifts

Some common rewards that can come from coping with life’s negativities are worth listing in bullet points. Oftentimes, parents can appreciate the growth their teenagers fail to see by focusing on challenges. Listed below are a few common gifts of gain or adversity.

• Challenges are met.
• Capacity discovered.
• Knowledge is developed.
• Skills are practiced.
• confident is won.
• Roles are assumed.
• Lessons are learned.
• Resources are available.
• Sacrifices are being made.
• Support is provided.
• Self-discipline becomes stronger.
• Independence is claimed.
• Courage is shown.
• Solutions are found.
• Creativity is warned.
• The initiative is shown.
• Responsibility is assumed.
• Maintenance is an investment.
• Love is confirmed

Parents point out to their teenagers the good aspects of difficulties, in no way minimizing the negative aspects of pain to which they listen with empathy.

On the contrary, parents add a positive perspective that the teenager who is preoccupied with the struggle may not often appreciate. “Although this change requires every effort, attention You have to give right now, we see that you are developing a problem-solving capacity that you did not have before.