Dear Annie: My husband and I have been married for 45 years, and we both struggle with health issues at ages 72 and 67.

Our 43-year-old son still lives with us and works a low-income job.

Of course, we are retired and unfortunately, due to our health conditions, it has become increasingly difficult to manage our two-storey house. Climbing the stairs to our bedrooms is a daily challenge.
I’ve lived in this neighborhood for nearly 70 years, and frankly, it feels like it’s falling apart. Recently, many houses on our street have been demolished and demolished, leaving the area looking like a war zone. Even before this we were surrounded by slums and other disturbing conditions.

I am rapidly deteriorating mentally and physically and I feel trapped.

Our house, which my husband and son see as the reason to stay, belongs entirely to us. But I can’t stand it anymore. I am on the verge of collapse and the anxiety and depression of being stuck in this environment is overwhelming. I know I have to go, but I’m torn because I don’t want to tear my family apart.
How can I convince them that selling our house and moving to a healthier place is the best option? I’m itching for a change, but they hold on to the idea that because we own the house, we should stay. The house is over 120 years old and needs a lot of work. Renting is not an option; I want to sell it as soon as possible and move on before my mental health deteriorates further.
Please, I need advice on how to move forward without tearing my family apart. Any help or guidance would be greatly appreciated. — Two Against One and Fading Fast

Dear Two Against One: First of all, I am truly sorry to hear that your neighborhood is declining so quickly. The best way forward is to continue doing exactly what you’re doing, clearly communicating your needs to your husband and son. Your concerns about not going for a walk for health reasons are completely valid.
Selling your home can provide a solution that will benefit everyone. You can buy a new home outright with the profit and remind your husband that you still own property in a different location that supports your health and well-being. Take the time to research the neighborhoods and homes you’d like to live in and work with a good real estate agent to explore your options. Show your husband and son what is possible; They may realize what they are missing.
People often fear change, but sometimes change is exactly what we need. Your priority is your health; both mental and physical. As the saying goes, “health is wealth” and if this house is harming your health, it is time to move.
If your husband and son still won’t listen to your concerns, it may be time to seek the guidance of a professional therapist.

Send questions to Annie Lane at: [email protected].

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