Dear Abby: I helped a friend by driving her back and forth to work for two weeks while her car was being repaired. When he got his car back, he told me to let him know if he could repay the favor by helping me. My car needed repairs recently, so I asked if I could pay for the favor in cash to commute to work for a few days. He said he could do it for me, but I should have known that he had “already repaid the favor (he owed me)” by helping one of his other friends, so he felt like he didn’t owe me a favor anymore. I also got the impression that I would owe him another favor if he gave me a ride to work. I told him to forget I asked and that I would find another way to get to work.

Is there an etiquette rule that says you should tell someone that you’ve “done them a favor going forward” and that you no longer owe them a favor?

—Uneasy in the South

Dear Disturbed: If it exists, this is the first I’ve heard of it. The “friend” you describe is what they call a “bean counter” or “scorekeeper.” This is someone who places excessive emphasis on controlling things like expenses, budgets, and in his case, relationships. It is best to avoid such people.

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