DEAR ABBY: My 27-year-old daughter, “Virginia,” lives on the East Coast with her boyfriend, “Ray,” and teaches kindergarten. She admitted to catching him cheating last month. He saw the messages on his phone. When Ray confronted him, he quickly confessed and was profusely apologetic, but he also kept the woman’s number in his phone.

Ray will be moving to another state soon and his employment will end in about three weeks. Virginia is seriously considering going with him and has also talked about marriage. His mother and I divorced due to his mother’s infidelity, but we agree that we would advise him not to stay with her. Despite taking responsibility, cheating is devastating in any serious relationship.

I’ve been back and forth with Virginia via email, but sometimes she stops communicating. I wasn’t being harsh, but I did ask why Ray kept the other woman’s number unless he wanted to stay in touch.

Can you think of anything else a worried father could do to help this situation? Frankly, Virginia can ignore parental advice and do whatever she wants. I also wonder what I can say to Ray the next time I see him. I neither want to give him permission nor do I want to condemn him as a monster.

— STRONG FATHER IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR FATHER: If possible, talk to your daughter face to face. Tell him that as an adult he can do whatever he wants, but as a caring parent you cannot remain silent. Remind her that Ray KEPT THE OTHER WOMAN’S NUMBER, which means he intends to contact her at some point. Explain to you that this means your daughter is less committed than she should be.

As for what to say to Virginia’s boyfriend, tell him that you disgust his selfishness and dishonesty and that he doesn’t deserve your daughter. If you have other thoughts on the subject that you would like to share, feel free to post them.

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DEAR ABBY: What would you think of a man who offers his wife’s siblings an all-expenses-paid trip to Paris, knowing that she cannot consider taking such a trip due to mobility issues?

Full disclosure: The husband and wife have been to Paris in the past (when the wife was in good health), but the husband feels the need to go again and has no one else to accompany him. His wife will be left home alone to fend for herself. Somehow this whole deal leaves a bad taste in my mouth. Please correct me.

— HOUSE PERSON IN NORTH CAROLINA

DEAR HOUSEHOLD PERSON: People with physical disabilities travel internationally all the time. If the husband has the money to take his wife’s siblings on an all-expenses-paid trip to Paris, he can certainly take his wife AND A CAREGIVER along for that trip down memory lane. This way, he will be taken care of and will still be able to enjoy the journey as much as he can. Didn’t anyone else suggest it other than me?