• My friend group suddenly disappointed me without explaining why.
• I blamed myself and felt insecure because I could never switch off.
• I’m still healing and learning to trust people again.

I sent a message group chat One gloomy winter evening when I was 16, I asked my friends to meet. When no one answered my message, I called them. The phone rang for approximately 45 seconds before the call was disconnected. I was used to being ignored sometimes, but of course not everyone was busy, right?

A few hours later, I saw everyone was posting. Instagram stories with each other. Feeling betrayed, I sent a message to everyone asking why I wasn’t invited to this secret meeting, but I received no response. That was the last time I spoke to them.

We had been friends for several years as we all lived in the same apartment complex. I’m growing. We used to hang out a few times a week, but they slowly moved away from me.

years later my friends They excluded me, I made excuses for their behavior. I told myself they weren’t in the right mind space to continue the conversation. There were other points where I blamed myself and felt nothing but self-hatred.

Slowly I learned that quietly giving up on friendships It is common.

I blamed myself for my friends leaving me behind

Looking back, there were signs. My friends were always late calling me and rarely answered my calls. text messages. Sometimes I blamed myself for wearing a veil and not being able to see what was there, and sometimes I blamed them for being so cruel.

My mom always tells me that all experiences have learning curves. While I thought this was his way of consoling me and asking me to be more strategic about my friendships, I was knee-deep in quicksand. my insecurities.

In the beginning I lost my confidence and believed every single one of them. friendship breakup It was my fault. I thought if I was beautiful or rich enough, I could have better friends.

Sometimes I imagined scenarios where I confronted them and demanded answers.

I found the concept of letting go of friendships quietly

While scrolling through the apocalypse on TikTok, I came across the dating term “quietly giving up.”

The term is most commonly used in these situations: quitting workBut people started using the phrase to describe breaking up a friendship without any explanation.

Understanding this term felt like a personal gain because my feelings he was right. When I realized this was happening to others too, I felt like I wasn’t alone.

I’m still healing and learning to build trust

A few years have passed, but this experience has left me with permanent but invisible scars. I’m still healing and learning trust people Again.

I get triggered when a friend takes the time to respond or when someone’s tone of voice changes. I still wonder what went wrong when the Snapchat memories surfaced.

I still imagine my friends taking a different approach. I imagine them facing me and be more transparent when they take a break from friendship. I imagine crying, but I also see a sense of closure and a sign to move on.

Unanswered questions that keep me from fully healing. But now I have to admit that some friendship rifts don’t come with closure.

I try to make this a positive learning experience. I learned that I don’t want to be like them. If I have a problem in the future, I will be transparent and discuss it with my friends, I will not overshadow them.

It’s up to me to stop the cycle because I’ve been on the other side. I know how it feels to be left alone to fall prey to the wolves of my mind.