Dear Eric: We have a couple who we meet periodically for dinner. Setting the time and place is very important; I usually let them choose.

The problem is that by the time we arrived at the agreed time (never late), they had usually ordered the appetizers they had mostly eaten and usually ordered their main course.

We always feel weird having to take time to look at the menu and order. It would be weird once, but almost always. I don’t know what to say. This is so weird. If they’re going to eat without us, why are they inviting us?

Do you have any suggestions on arriving an hour before the appointed time?

– Mealtime Madness

Dear Meal Time: What a fascinating habit this couple has. I would even go so far as to call it rude. It’s one thing to arrive early and order a soda or cocktail while you wait, perhaps an appetizer to share. But they started the whole meal. I would be confused too.

It’s best to meet the awkwardness head on. Next time you’re making plans, tell them you noticed they’re starting to arrive and eat much earlier. Ask if there’s a reason for this and tell them you want to spend the entire meal together. It seems unlikely that they are unaware of this habit; Maybe there’s a good reason. But by talking it out – “dinner is at 6 o’clock; “What time will you be there?” – you give them the opportunity to explain and adapt. If they do neither, maybe it’s best to meet them for dessert.