Dear Canceled Plans: One of the benefits of friendship is being able to see ourselves from the perspective of someone who knows all our moves and outings and accepts us anyway. So your husband should say — seriously or jovially, whichever feels more comfortable — that he would invite his friend to more things but can’t risk it being cancelled. A half-serious “is this a real ‘yes’ or a ‘yes’ that turns into a ‘no’?” It might help clarify the issue.

Your husband’s friend needs to respect your husband’s time and the effort your husband puts into making social plans. Her friend may not realize it, but by canceling so many things, she’s telling her husband that their friendship isn’t that valuable to him. Of course, that’s not what he means. But actions speak louder than RSVPs.

Send your questions to R. Eric Thomas at: [email protected] or PO Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Follow him instagram and sign up for his weekly newsletter at: rericthomas.com.