Are you having trouble establishing an emotional connection with your man? Even though you know he’s a good man, you never know what’s going on with him. You don’t understand what he’s thinking and you wonder why he doesn’t share what’s going on with her.

There are many reasons why he might not let you in, and most of them have nothing to do with you. You want to see if you can figure out the reason and determine if it may be emotionally authentic or tied to your relationship dynamics. Discovering the root cause of the problem will give you the information you need to decide whether to stay or go.

Here are 6 disturbingly common reasons why men don’t let a woman in emotionally:

1. He is emotionally unsuitable for a relationship.

May be emotionally unavailable for many reasons: dependency, emotional immaturity, defensiveness, withdrawal or passivity. 2017 research He states that attachment disorders usually originate from childhood. Whatever the reason, it’s impossible to build emotional intimacy with a man who isn’t open.

You can control what you think, feel, and do, but you can’t control what he thinks, feels, or does. Make sure you don’t turn into a cracker for him to let you in.

Why won’t he let you in? Because it is not suitable for an emotionally close relationship.

RELATING TO: 6 Harsh Signs Your Partner Is Not Invested in the Relationship

2. He doesn’t think the relationship is long-term

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The bad news is that he may only be in it for companionship and comfort. This doesn’t mean he doesn’t like you or find you attractive. It just means he likes spending time with you but he doesn’t see a future with you.

A man who wants a relationship with you will make an effort to move the relationship forward. He will plan future dates, introduce you to his friends and family, be curious about you, and know how to make you happier.

There’s nothing wrong with a proper relationship as long as you both agree that that’s what it’s all about. If you want more and he doesn’t, it may be time to re-evaluate your relationship.

Why won’t he let you in? Because he likes you but doesn’t see a future with you.

3. Avoids conflict

Many people are disturbed by conflict and resort to extreme measures to avoid upsetting their partner. They avoid difficult conversations and don’t share what they’re thinking because they’re afraid of rejection or causing conflict.

avoid conflict creates emotional disconnectionIt may seem like the relationship has become stale. Not talking about what’s bothering you causes you to withdraw emotionally, which makes it harder for your partner to connect with you. When differences are approached with care and conscious communication, you can create a much deeper bond and emotional bond between the two of you.

Why won’t he let you in? Because he is afraid of conflict and hiding his ideas, thoughts and feelings.

RELATING TO: 5 Reasons He Won’t Commit But Still Won’t Let You Go

4. Feels judged, criticized, or pressured

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It’s common for people to shut down when they feel judged or criticized. While you believe you are helping, he closes the issue because he feels pressured to be different.

He may believe that nothing he does is good enough for you, or he may not know how to please you, leaving him confused about what action he should take. If he feels judged, he may become defensive or stone wall youand gives you vague answers that don’t explain what’s really going on. wall building, According to research by the Gottman InstituteIt is one of the biggest relationship killers.

Why won’t he let you in? Because he doesn’t know how to please you.

5. Doesn’t seek advice

There’s a reason for the stereotype that men don’t ask for directions. Call it pride, or just a desire to figure it out on your own, many men turn off when they hear you giving them advice on how to live their life or how to take care of themselves.

Or he may internalize your advice, showing that you don’t trust him to make the right decisions. He may believe that you perceive him as weak or incompetent.

Shutting down your advice may be a sign of toxic masculinity or insecurity, or he may become angry at unsolicited advice. If he feels like he’s being told how he should live his life, he won’t feel safe seeking your advice.

Why won’t he let you in? Because he doesn’t believe you trust him to handle things.

RELATING TO: Is He Emotionally Unavailable… Or Is He Just Not That Into You?

6. He’s not in touch with his emotions

Many boys had their emotions invalidated as children. He is often told to “man up” and put his emotions aside.

Because of this conditioning, they are not in touch with their emotional life. When you ask a man raised this way how he feels, he will look at you with a blank expression; It cannot fully answer the question.

If he doesn’t know how you feel, then he won’t be able to share his feelings with you. Emotional connection requires both of you to be emotionally authentic.

Why won’t he let you in? Because not in touch with his emotions and therefore is unable to identify or express his emotions. Create a safe space for him to be vulnerable.

These barriers are difficult to overcome and it is not in your power to let him in, but you can create an environment where he feels safe to open up to you and be vulnerable with you. Many men want to talk more about their feelings, but they need the right environment for emotional expression.

It is important to find a balance between your needs and wants. Make sure you don’t sacrifice for him. Your needs are no less important or valuable than his.

RELATING TO: 8 Hard to Hear Signs He’s Just Using You

Orna and Matthew Walters date coaches and founders Creating Love on Purpose With a holistic approach to transforming hidden blocks into love, the authors Doing it right this time.