Tone Down

While walking to my local supermarket recently, I noticed a series of small billboards encouraging people to reduce the severity of online disputes. “Turn it down,” one message urged. “There are more things that unite us than divide us,” said another. There can be no doubt about the necessity of these incentives. We seem to live in a world of increasing polarization, where members of warring tribes address each other with considerable vitriol online, and our disagreements show no signs of abating. Technology has a big role in this development; especially the rapid emergence of social media platforms where people use words and emotions they would less likely use if they were talking to the other person face to face. We really need to mitigate this before our differences become insurmountable.

I was struck by the relevance of this billboard campaign to our current cultural, social and political moment. Moreover, I was struck by how these emotions relate to a much older story that unfolded almost four centuries ago. They are applying now; That’s when they applied. It was a world far removed from the ubiquitous social media we experience now, but those living in seventeenth-century England were beginning to confront the rapid proliferation of another new technology: printed books, which presented a tremendous opportunity for a person to wound and wound. Insulting another person through the printed word on the page, if not on the screen. So there are technological continuities between their age and ours, but there are also simple human continuities much deeper than that. Human nature has not changed over the intervening centuries, so the kinds of dynamics we saw at work in the breakdown of relationships back then are reflected in our experiences today. This means, of course, that there are lessons for us to learn from old divisions and disagreements. This description, especially of the breakdown of a relationship, provides ample material to help us think soberly about our own differences or the differences we see emerging around us.

Those of us who count ourselves among the Christian community are faced with the uncomfortable truth that the same kinds of disagreements we witness in society at large also occur among our Christian brothers and sisters: even the most conscientious Christians disagree. These are men and women who are respected and trusted. God seems to have blessed their lives with abundance. They can be effective leaders or communicators. At least they are brothers and sisters adopted into God’s family. They may also be part of the same group or congregation within the Christian church. They read the same Bible, with many exhortations and commands towards unity. And yet they disagree. They just can’t get along. They are separated from each other.

We have probably all seen examples of this division or been part of an argument that has broken out even among fellow believers. Personalities clash. Disagreements over beliefs arise. Changes in church practices create winners and losers. The wounds are growing; resentments accumulate. A follower of Jesus worships him at Sunday morning service while carefully keeping his distance from a fellow believer just a few seats away. Or tensions reach a boiling point and escalate into direct conflict with outbursts of bitterness and anger. People are leaving; the church is divided; Relationships are never repaired. It seems like it’s been that way all along. The apostle Paul had to rebuke the Christians in Corinth for splitting into rival groups (1 Corinthians 3:1-4). The history of the church from now until today is filled with separation, division, disintegration, and what Paul warned about: “quarrels, jealousy, anger, enmity, slander, gossip, arrogance, and disorder.” (2 Corinthians 12:20).

We really need to mitigate this before our differences become insurmountable.

This is a difficult challenge to meet. Part of the problem is that we are too close to, and too attached to, the conflicts we see around us. What we need is some distance and objectivity to see things as they are and to discern all the different layers of what is actually going on. One way to gain this distance is to examine in detail a complex debate in which we have no stake, in this case some four hundred years ago. Richard Baxter (1615–1691) and John Owen (1616–1683) were two very important and respected leaders within seventeenth-century English Christianity. No one should doubt their piety, their devotion to God, and their commitment to the cause of peace and unity. But they didn’t like each other, and we’re about to see why. We will understand the multi-layered reasons for their hostility and observe how their relationship, which was never bright at first, deteriorated over the years, eventually turning into a constant and mutual dislike. Spoiler alert: There is no happy ending. This is undoubtedly a classic, timeless story that has been repeated with minor variations countless times over the centuries, but in this case we have ample evidence. It presents an archetype of conflict between Christians that remains enduringly relevant today, despite all the distance between us and them.

It is to our advantage that their stories are old. We have nothing on these two men, so we can observe them impartially and objectively. We can identify patterns and learn lessons that we hope we can apply to our circumstances. Four hundred years of distance helps separate us from the sense of our own complexities. If we return to our context, we can see ourselves more objectively. Normally, we are too close to our own conflict to easily understand the complex, unspoken, vaguely noticeable layers of what is actually going on. Conflict is complex, whether we are one of the protagonists or a conflict is taking place around us. It is difficult to see things clearly. But when we go back to the seventeenth century, we silence the emotional noise. In this relative silence, it becomes possible to make observations and draw conclusions that will be useful to us as we turn to the twenty-first century to negotiate our own context of conflict.

These two giant leaders of the seventeenth century certainly had their warts. These are a vivid example of how even the most devout Christians can’t get along and do a pretty poor job of it, and how relationships deteriorate even between the most sincere believers. I hope their conflicts will help us understand and manage our difficulties with each other, so that we can be as “like-minded, like-loving, in complete harmony” as we can while living in this world. we agree and agree” (Philippians 2:2).

This article is adapted from: When Christians Disagree: Lessons from the Shattered Relationship of John Owen and Richard Baxter Written by Tim Cooper.

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