When I was 31 years old Keke Palmer already on it The second book about his lifeAnd rightly so.

“Now HE “The Lady has a story to tell,” he says of himself in his retro broadcast voice, while in full Old Hollywood glam for PEOPLE’s cover shoot at his Los Angeles home. He’s kidding, but it’s true.

The award-winning actress, singer and media powerhouse has lived a life that defied her years and brought her to her knees time and time again.

“That’s what’s always been the case for me: I’m in a mature scenario where I’ve had these old experiences at work and my own sense of purpose,” he says, “but still, I’m just an ordinary 31-year-old old person with all my immaturity.”

It’s a paradox the former child star grapples with in her new book Master of Me: The Secret to Controlling Your NarrativeIt came out on November 19th and has recently come to a head in a very public and painful way.

Last year, a few months later No star welcomed son Leowith her then boyfriend Darius JacksonThe 30-year-old’s seemingly happy relationship soured after a social media post criticizing the dress Jackson wore to an Usher concert set off a viral storm. Then came domestic violence allegations and a custody battle.

Altogether, he writes in his book, “This was the hardest thing I have ever had to go through.” Now that he’s resolved his differences and reached a good point with his ex, he’s finally ready to think.

When we think back to when the relationship first started, it was like, ‘It wasn’t just this person, it was also the time. “It was a very spiritual feeling for Darius and me,” he says. “We had separate loneliness and we created a space where we could exist together in that loneliness. Then we wanted to have a son. “Leo was very planned.”

The couple looked like a happy couple throughout her pregnancy and immediately after Leo was born in February 2023. But behind the scenes, “There was a lot going on” even before Jackson complained on social media in July, he says. .

“But this is the outfit. . . “You are a mother.” she wrote in response to a video showing Palmer wearing a see-through dress while dancing with Usher at his concert. Fans immediately came to her defense online, but Palmer writes that the relationship had already become “unhappy and unhealthy.”

It also turned violent. in his demand temporary restraining order That decision, handed down by a court in November, detailed multiple allegations of domestic violence, including that Jackson broke into her home and tried to strangle her; This incident was recorded on video. He answered in court with his own words accusations and evidence that he allegedly harassed her While they clash over custody of Leo.

“It got so out of control,” he says. “The only way I knew how to bring order was through the courts.” As for what went wrong between them in the beginning, “having a baby was a huge stressor,” she says, and like fame: “It’s always been a burden, not just in my romantic relationships, but with my family and friends. There’s a lot of voices coming in. It makes everyone not trust you.” “It may be difficult to explain.”

Six months later, after court-ordered mediation, Palmer and Jackson amicably agreed to a joint custody agreement. Looking back on the relationship, she writes, “I wish I could say that he was always terrible, or that I was… but it wasn’t that black-and-white, and that was the problem.” He continues: “I didn’t want my son to think his father was a monster, because I don’t think so.”

His advice to anyone facing a similar situation: “The only way is to walk away.”

These days he found forgiveness and peace. In fact, he says of Jackson, who recently enlisted in the military, “I’m very proud of him and happy for him.” “I feel very comfortable now knowing that everything is under control.”

For more on the ups and downs of Keke Palmer’s life under the spotlight, read this week’s issue of PEOPLE on Friday.

Master of Me: The Secret to Controlling Your Narrative Written by Keke Palmer It comes out November 19th and is available for pre-order wherever books are sold.