“Practical Magic”
Being able to light a candle without adding a flame.

Actually Practical Magic
Being able to power a parking meter without having to put money into it or download another parking application.

“Practical Magic”
I’m bringing your dead abusive boyfriend, Jimmy Angelov, back to life.

Actually Practical Magic
We bring your expensive dead houseplant, Monstera esqueleto, back to life.

“Practical Magic”
Preparing midnight margaritas with salamander eye, frog finger, bat wing, dog tongue, viper fork, blunt worm needle, Barbados lemon and fragia salt.

Actually Practical Magic
Making lunch margaritas with ingredients more readily available at Trader Joe’s.

“Practical Magic”
Stirring a morning coffee via telekinesis.

Actually Practical Magic
By some miracle, flossing your teeth every morning.

“Practical Magic”
Creating a romantic partner whose favorite shape is a star, who can flip elaborately shaped pancakes, has heterochromia, and can ride upside down on a horse.

Actually Practical Magic
Creating a life partner whose salary is as much as a K-pop star, who can prepare pancake dough (not from a box), who doesn’t have any optical abnormalities because your health insurance doesn’t cover vision, and who can move accordingly is the park.

“Practical Magic”
Casting a spell on a local young man to make him fall madly in love with your niece.

Actually Practical Magic
Cast a spell on your niece to make her fall out of love with her terrible high school boyfriend.

“Practical Magic”
Cursing a child with chicken pox because they keep calling you names.

Actually Practical Magic
Cursing your child’s school messaging system for contacting you three times a day with malware.

“Practical Magic”
Performing an exorcism with a coven to get rid of a persistent demon.

Actually Practical Magic
Performing an oven exorcism to get rid of stubborn grease stains.

“Practical Magic”
Flying off the roof of a beautiful five-story house and landing on your feet.

Actually Practical Magic
Getting back on your feet by inheriting a beautiful five-story house.