DEAR ABBY: Our friend “Carrie” revealed to our group of close friends that she has been having an affair with her best friend “Julia’s” husband for the past few years. Their children are best friends and they spend a lot of time together, even going on family vacations.

We’ve told Carrie over and over how this could affect the kids, and she acknowledges it, but it continues. It’s getting harder and harder to keep this dirty secret because we love Julia but no one wants to be the messenger. Should we tell Julia or wait until it inevitably comes up? — ROT IN RHODE ISLAND

DEAR ROTTEN: Are you sure that Julia knew nothing about this incident and chose to ignore it? Julia still has children living at home. If you spill the beans, what will you do to the pristine lifestyle they probably enjoyed? If you don’t want to hear any more about Carrie’s jokes, tell her you don’t want to know any more. But when it comes to making statements, I’m in favor of keeping your mouth shut.