Dear Annie:

I had suspicions that something was going on with my husband, but for a long time I had no concrete evidence. Then one day everything turned upside down. When I got home I found a note: He was gone.

After some research, I found out that he was living with another woman in a nearby town. It was devastating and the betrayal caught me off guard. Even worse, I had no idea how long he had been cheating on me.

What seemed particularly strange and almost ironic to me was that when I finally saw the woman he had left me for, I was surprised to realize that she looked like a younger version of her mother! When I told him this, he was not happy at all.

After all, their love didn’t last long. A few years later he asked her to leave. Regardless, knowing that things didn’t work out for him doesn’t give me much satisfaction. This entire experience has left deep emotional scars, and although I have decided to file for divorce, I often wonder how long I have unknowingly been living a lie.

My relationship is beyond repair. How can I start over, even when I feel like the ground has been pulled out from under me? — The Betrayed Wife

My Dear Betrayed Wife:

The best way to start over is to take it one day at a time. Instead of worrying about what the future may bring, focus on meeting new and interesting people and allow yourself to get excited about new connection possibilities. Turning a new chapter in life can be both scary and rewarding; so embrace uncertainty with patience and curiosity.

Remember to continue to take care of yourself; Stay active and spend time with friends and family who cheer you up. Over time, everything will start to fall into place. Good luck to you.

“How Can I Forgive My Cheating Partner?” It’s out now! Annie Lane’s second anthology of her favorite columns on marriage, infidelity, communication, and compromise is available in paperback and e-book. Visit for more information. Send questions to Annie Lane at: [email protected].

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