DEAR ABBY: Some time ago you printed a letter in which a grandmother said she changed her will because neither her adult children nor her grandchildren wrote thank-you notes when she sent gifts. I had taught my son the importance of writing thank you notes, but he wasn’t doing a very good job of completing the process. I cut the letter from your column and sent it to him.
Boy what a difference it made. He was newly married, and many people told me how much they received heartfelt thank you notes and how much they were appreciated. He had a birthday recently and everyone who wished him well received a written thank you letter.
Abby, please continue to remind your readers of the importance of gratitude and kindness and what it means to others. Entitlement is out of control. Handwritten thank you notes are NOT old fashioned. They remove the donor’s heart. Thank you. — TAMARA IN CALIFORNIA
DEAR TAMARA: The issue of thank you notes is one of the most common complaints I receive from readers. Some people put off writing because they have trouble expressing themselves in writing, don’t know what to say, or are afraid they’ll say the wrong thing.
I recommend readers keep a notebook with them when opening gifts and jot down the first words that come to mind when they see the contents. For some reason, they believe the misconception that a thank you must be long and polished, when in fact it is more effective to keep it short and to the point. Did they like the color? Style? Is it something they want as a gift? Write it down and use it for inspiration!
My Letters booklet includes thank you note samples for birthday gifts, shower gifts, wedding gifts, and holiday gifts. It can be ordered by sending your name and mailing address plus an $8 check or money order to: Dear Abby Letters Booklet, PO Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. Shipping and handling are included in the price. You’ll also find examples of congratulatory letters that address difficult topics such as the loss of a parent, spouse, or child. Many readers have told me that my booklet has served as a valuable tool in teaching their children basic etiquette.