A mother of four is facing some scrutiny after deciding not to take her stepdaughter on a big Disney vacation.

One to post Reddit’s “Am I A——?” Shared on the subreddit earlier this week, a user going by the username D-Hearing228 described the rocky relationship he had with his 16-year-old stepdaughter, which led him to leave the teenager behind when he brought his remaining children to Disney. holiday.

According to the original poster (OP), she has one child from a previous relationship, two children from her husband’s previous relationship, and one child from her husband. She and her husband, both 41, say they “always treat the kids as equally as possible” when it comes to family holidays.

The problem he is having is with his teenage stepdaughter, who “doesn’t like anything anyone else does. Or she’ll like it until someone else likes it.”

For example, “He really wanted to go on a winter trip to Colorado to ski. None of the other kids were that excited, but it was hard to find things he liked, so we went. He was excited until the other kids started having fun. He wanted to leave, too,” the Reddit user writes .

“That’s pretty much what happens when we go on trips to the zoo, museums, etc.,” he continues. “And if other people are already happy with it, he immediately hates the idea.”

According to the OP, she, her husband, and the 16-year-old’s mother have tried to connect with him better, taking him to a counselor and trying to help him find activities he truly enjoys, to no avail.

“We thought maybe he just wanted to spend time alone with his mom and dad. We did that with both his mom and dad. He was still complaining all the time,” she says. “Her counselor said maybe she wanted to do activities with both parents to show that they got along. They did it, but if they were having any fun at all, she hated what they did. We did girls’ days with her mom and I, and she hates it too.”

“The less enthusiastic we are, the more he wants to do it,” the user writes. “This goes for food, too. If someone else likes something, he finds ways to criticize it. It’s like he doesn’t let anyone else enjoy anything.”

The user explained that she and her husband have tried many solutions to help their stepdaughter better enjoy the trip, including letting her choose places or telling her to bring a friend, but these strategies have yet to work.

“If he sees someone liking something he chose, he complains and says it was his idea and no one else can enjoy it,” the user writes.

All these difficulties came to a head when the family decided to plan a trip to Disney. The choice was inspired by the OP’s nephew, who has cancer and “always wanted to come with us because he missed so much school and didn’t have siblings and not many friends.”

“(My stepdaughter) said it was stupid when everyone else wanted to go,” she says, noting that her husband decided to stay away from the trip because of his job. “I made a reservation for myself, my sister, my niece and our three children, and decided that (my stepdaughter) could stay with my dad since she didn’t want to go anyway.”

She says she repeatedly asked her stepdaughter if she wanted to join them on the trip so she could have the opportunity to change her mind.

The user now says her husband is accusing her of being cruel for leaving the teenager behind.

“My husband says he’s not planning on coming either (I’m a——) but I don’t want him to ruin the trip by complaining about my niece there,” she claims.

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Ultimately, the Reddit community almost unanimously declared that this mother of four wasn’t an “a—–” for her decision to leave the 16-year-old behind, but many people shared the following responses: they were concerned about the teen’s mental health.

One user wrote “NTA”. “I would just recommend that you, your wife, and your child’s mother focus more on his mental health treatment because this feels very pathological to say the least.”

The original poster replied: “We’ve had the same concerns and luckily he’s also attending counselling, although there’s no progress we can see.”

“She seems to be having a hard time finding her own individuality,” another user chimed in. “I wasn’t that extreme, but I definitely thought I was unique if I liked things that people weren’t interested in or didn’t know about, and that was special. I didn’t want to enjoy the same things as everyone else, I’m happy to say I got out of that situation when I wanted to enjoy things and share experiences with others.”

The response continued: “You are doing a great job helping him solve this problem, sharing your time and activities with all the parents.” “I think not bringing him is the perfect solution for anyone, you deserve to enjoy any holiday but I can’t risk getting upset especially when you’re enjoying such an expensive holiday. When he starts grumbling in places my advice is to just ignore him outright have fun and let him learn to participate give it.”