So a Republican won the election and you know what that means. Jimmy Carter He must survive for another four years. It is also time for liberals to tell themselves that they are still right about everything, that their hysteria and dreams of persecution are completely normal.

But right now they’re melting like the stick of butter Joy Behar holds between her thighs to prevent chafing. As an example, last night, every other late night host had a hissy fit. His Too bad Tim Walz She’s still grieving or she might send them all a bag of industrial-strength tampons. Poor Jimmy. True, it was a terrible night for women, children, and the hundreds of thousands of hard-working immigrants who cut their lawns.

BIDEN CONGRATULATES TRUMP, PROMISES A ‘PEACEFUL AND ORDERY’ TRANSFER OF POWER

-Jimmy Kimmel: It was a terrible night for the women, for the children, for the hundreds of thousands of hard-working immigrants to this country. For healthcare, for our climate, for science, for journalism, for justice, for freedom of expression. It was a terrible night for the poor, for the middle class, for the elderly in need of social security. For us Allies in UkraineFor NATO, for truth. And democracy and civility. And it was a terrible night for everyone who voted against him. And guess what? It was also a bad night for everyone who voted for him. You just don’t realize it yet.

Do you know? If I cry on TV it will be because Maroon 5 released a new song. But that’s how big **** it is. Remember when Johnny Carson cried like a baby over the election of Ronald Reagan? Yes, me too. So do you know why you didn’t? Because his wife didn’t keep his balls in a Tupperware box next to a box of tofu burgers. But the killer sentence was at the end When Kimmel said“You just don’t realize it.” Because you see, he is smarter than you and he needs you to know that. And his ego can’t stand the fact that there is someone more famous and influential than him out there. I have news for you, Kimmel. Last time it mattered, Bruce Jenner still had a penis.

I love you Bruce.

Caitlyn Jenner arrives at the 2016 Vanity Fair Oscar Party hosted by Graydon Carter at Wallis Annenberg Center for the Performing Arts on February 28, 2016 in Beverly Hills, California. (John Shearer/Getty Images)

Jimmy’s career peaked with big girls on the trampoline. Now that’s the only meme we see. He once hosted the show Man. Now, on the third day of her menstrual cycle, she cries like she just watched Steel Magnolias. Here’s another sullen multimillionaire.

Stephen Colbert: Hi. How are you? If you watch the show regularly, I’m guessing you’re not doing so well. Yes, me too.

Aren’t you amazing? You are very rich and completely immune to the nonsense you impose on others. Meanwhile I actually It’s going well, Stephen. I don’t feel any pain, brother, except for the 48-hour erection I’ve had since they called Pennsylvania.

But Stephen, have you tried to get ahead of yourself? You’ve been attacking Trump for eight years and all you’ve done is help him get back into power. After being wrong about something every day and night for eight years, you might consider trying something new, like, I don’t know, comedy. But at least Seth Meyers reveals the source of his pain: relevance. Trump has it too. He doesn’t.

Seth Meyers: We live in an endless timeline where Donald Trump has always been and always will be the center of the universe. There can be no escape. Everyone salute our strong and benevolent supreme leader.

Hmmm, or maybe you could do your stupid little comedy show and stop acting like you’re trying to save the world, we were too ungrateful to listen to your intelligence. NBC’s late-night show used to be crazy jokes Until Seth turned it around with your gay therapist in an hour. So these friends are experiencing deep mental pain. And not just them. Journalists now offer tips for dealing with their frustrations, disappointments, and even fears. And I understood. This is normal after any loss.

FOX NEWS VOTER ANALYSIS: HOW TRUMP WON THE WHITE HOUSE BACK

I’m still mad about losing the World’s Sexiest Man to Johnny Depp. So why would people feel fear? Maybe it’s just because their news outlets keep telling them that Trump will turn America into Nazi Germany. So, do you know who felt the real fear during the Biden administration? Those who have to take the subway, those who have to buy groceries, or those who want to sleep with a chick without testicles. That’s a lot of people. But now even Kamala accepts that everything will be fine. too much for Trump is becoming Hitler. It turns out he was lying the whole time. They all were.

Still, CBS offered helpful tips on coping with loss. CNN recommends taking deep breaths and taking long walks. And please don’t suppress your emotions. Usually when they cry this much they share the elevator with Brian Stelter Taco Tuesday. And so the media offers you solutions to the problems it causes.

After all, who created all this anxiety by promising that all hell would break loose if Trump wins? They did. It’s like climate hysteria. They drummed enough and then the kids were exposed to climate stress.

Look at Kimmel and Colbert, they are total wrecks because they believe the media. But we’re still okay because we haven’t been brainwashed. we know media’s job Lying to create anxiety that is disproportionate to the actual threat or to create no threat at all.

CLICK TO REACH THE FOX NEWS APPLICATION

Journalists only need to give you one tip to deal with stress; That is, you don’t pay attention to journalists. Maybe these late-night losers will stop thinking the world is ending, because we know that under Trump, everything is actually just beginning.