Caring for a parent, spouse, or family member can be rewarding but also challenging; especially if you are unprepared. With the right information, support and resources, you can provide quality care to your loved ones while taking care of yourself. In honor of November National Family Caregivers MonthHere you’ll find a look at the basics of caregiving, including basic tasks, expert advice, and helpful resources.

Duties and responsibilities of the caregiver

The carer’s role varies depending on the needs of the person you support. A caregiver’s duties often depend on factors such as medical needs, cognitive status and living arrangements, he explains Lili Udell Fiore, lifelong caregiver and Care Consultant JubileeTV. “These factors will greatly influence how much care any given individual needs.”

daily activities

Often, caregivers will be there to significantly assist with daily activities. What does this mean? “Bathing and grooming, toileting, feeding and movement are essential,” he says. Jennifer FinkAlzheimer’s Association’s home care expert. “Activities of daily living also include meal preparation and management, shopping, transportation, cleaning, household finances, home maintenance and more.

Medical care responsibilities

Being a caregiver also includes medical care. Whether you work with an in-house nurse or do it yourself, Fink says care duties include administering medications, monitoring vital signs, tending to wounds and tending to medical equipment. You will also communicate and coordinate with healthcare providers, navigate social services, attend doctor visits, and advocate for your loved one’s needs.

Emotional and social support

In addition to daily tasks and medical care, those you care for need affection and opportunities for social gatherings. “This can include companionship, emotional support, and social interactions,” Fink says.

Getting started as a caregiver: first steps

There are a few things to consider when taking over as the primary caregiver, but probably the most important is ensuring all legal, financial, and medical paperwork is in order.

Important documents include a power of attorney for healthcare and finances, a living will or advance directives, a MOST (Medical Orders for Scope of Treatment) form or a COLST (Clinical Orders for Life-Sustaining Treatment) or DNR (Do Not Resuscitate) form. and their legal will,” Fiore explains. “Find these legal documents and check the signatures and make sure they are legally valid for the state where your loved one currently lives.”

Creating a support system

“Even ‘respite’ care may not be temporary, and most caregivers burn out at some point due to lack of options and support,” says Fink, so she recommends listing more than one person in case you need support.

The best way to do this is to make a list of daily responsibilities and what tasks need to be done on a given day. Then list the people you know and write down the task for which each would be well-suited (they don’t necessarily have to be around to help).

Fink says these lists are helpful when someone says something like, “I heard something about the person you’re looking at.” I’m so sorry. ‘Is there anything I can do to help?’ “When you tie a task to a person’s strengths, you’re not asking for more than they can comfortably handle, and they’ll likely be more willing to help in the future,” he says.

How to talk about being a caregiver?

Taking the step to become a caregiver is a rewarding but also very challenging experience, and Fiore says, “Regardless of how it happens or ends, you are the person they (and your family) will trust with their care and overall well-being.”

Fiore emphasizes that personal, financial or medical information you have should not be disclosed to anyone unless they have legal power of attorney for financial or healthcare purposes. This doesn’t mean you can’t talk about what you’re going through. He recommends finding a caregiver support group or a therapist who can serve as a sounding board.

Fink adds that it’s also important to speak kindly and realistically about your experiences without exaggerating them. He was the caregiver for his mother, who had Alzheimer’s disease, and when people asked how his mother was doing, he replied: “As you would expect from someone with late-stage Alzheimer’s.” Fink notes that it’s important to be honest without being strictly negative if you can.

Personal care for caregivers

No one says the caregiving role is easy, so it’s imperative that you pay attention to your own needs, too. “You have to accept and believe that your life is just as important as the person you care for, maybe even more important,” says Fink. “You also need to remind yourself every day that if something happens to you, it will affect more than just yourself.”

Fiore adds that getting enough sleep each night, eating at least one healthy meal a day, taking your own medications and supplements on time, and staying hydrated every day are key to being a caregiver. “If any of these are disrupted and neglected, you will have a very difficult time managing your own life, let alone your role as a caregiver.”

Since caregiving is often a full-time job, there are many ways to do good for yourself, even if you have limited time.

• Go for a brisk walk in nature.

• Read part of a book.

• Draw a quick picture.

• Move every day.

• Meditate or take deep breaths to reduce stress.

• Spend time with a pet.

• Play your favorite song

• Plan a night out with friends or family (make sure you have insurance when you’re away)

• Check in with yourself every day

What else should first-time caregivers know?

Fink’s first suggestion is to get help early and find ways to enjoy the moment with someone who has severe needs. Caregiving is not a solo journey, and the more people you can rely on for support, the better. “Take advantage of all the help and support you can together,” says Fink. “Unfortunately putting all this stuff in place is almost a full-time job, so most people don’t bother, but getting help from a senior care consultant is a good starting point.

It’s also important not to put your life on hold when you become a caregiver. Being in this role takes a lot of time and effort, but once you are done caring for someone you will need to come back to your life. “You need other things and people in your life besides being a caregiver,” Fink says. And “be honest about what you can and cannot do” because this will help both you and the person you care for in the long run.

For more care tips

A Daughter Shares How Being Her Mother’s Caretaker Inspired Her New Role as an Alzheimer’s Educator

Marcia Gay Harden on the Joys and Challenges of Caregiving, Her Favorite Books, and Finding Peace (EXCLUSIVE)

A Mother Shares the Story of How She Found Hope While Caring for Children with Special Needs